The Lint Screen

Maybe I should pay closer attention to details...

It seems there’s a country named “Georgia” and it’s clear across the world.

Why someone would name a country after a state is beyond me (except to fool people), but it seems that the Russians have invaded the country of Georgia, not the state of Georgia where I live.

So I feel a little foolish writing about a conflict I thought was here when actually it was way over there. I feel sorry for the other Georgia and suggest the Russians go home and chill, for crying out loud. To quote Nick Lowe, “What’s so funny about peace, love and understanding?”

As for me, maybe I should pay a bit more attention to the news and not be quite so reactionary. Then again, being ever vigilant isn’t such a bad thing, is it? My apologies for the misunderstanding. I blame the media.

Ready for action. I see it all so clearly now.

They’re out there. Somewhere. Out there. I listen closely and can almost hear their dirty commie lung winds being exhaled. I sit and wait. Sit in the dark. Waiting. My finger is perched atop the trigger of a semi-auto bolshevik repeller. I am not afraid to use it. I’m surrounded by ample munitions, Doritos, gummy worms and Red Bulls. Hmm, “Red” Bulls. Maybe I am falling into their trap. Maybe this is their elixir, their pinko poison. Do I question capitalism and democracy? No, no, I embrace and love these like a kitten loves her warm mittens. I am safe. The Red Bulls are safe. I think. I think the Red Bulls are safe. But then maybe that’s what they want me to think. Yes, the ol’ logic switcheroo. Just to be safe, I’ll lay off the Red Bulls. I’ll sit, listen and wait. Are they here? I don’t know. The news said Russians invaded Georgia, but so far I haven’t seen a trace of Trotskyites. I wonder. If they are here, where the hell are they? I wonder. Sitting, waiting in the dark. Need a gummy worm, bad, real bad.