Archive for September 23rd, 2008

 

Is it a real cop, or an imposter? (Look closely)

Is it a real cop, or an impostor? (Look closely)

     They think they’re so smart, and maybe they are, but monkeys are often discovered posing as authority figures endangering life as we know it here on this planet many of us call “home.”

     Imagine being wheeled into the operating room and your last vision before drifting off to slumberville is a monkey behind a surgical mask, his clumsy fingers fumbling about the razor sharp scalpels on the surgical tray.

     Or picture yourself taking your favorite suit into the tailor shop for alterations, and the guy measuring your inseam suddenly begins throwing angry hairy-armed haymakers into your unsuspecting crotch.

     What if you were in church and the collection basket came your way and you noticed it was filled with banana peels–– then you see your pew consists of monkeys in their Sunday best! Holy is the moly!

     We must all be ever vigilant in unmasking these impostors and bringing them to public attention. If we do not, I fear our very fabric of life will unravel like some sort of unraveling thingy.

 

You're in for a verrrry long night!

BIG mistake–– you're in for a verrry long night, people!

1.  Monkeys smell like monkeys.

2   Monkeys rarely put napkins in their laps and never know the proper fork to use.

3.  Monkeys are picky eaters (especially when it comes to noodle casseroles).

4.  Ask a monkey to pass you something, nine times out of ten he’ll fling it at your head.

5.  Monkeys usually leave “markings” on the tablecloth, and you can’t ‘Shout’ them out.

6.  Monkey see, monkey do. C’mon monkeys, how about a little originality?!!!

7.  They’re poor conversationalists. If you mention evolution, monkeys shut down quickly.

8.  Monkeys are dessert hogs. Never try to get a bite of their banana cream pie.

9.  Monkeys won’t excuse themselves to go to the bathroom. They just go, go, go. Disgusting.