Month: October 2008

  • Monkey Terror Alert

          Some people claim I have a weird obsessive vendetta against monkeys and chimps, as if I felt inferior to these hairy beasts because they can climb trees and fling poo better than I can (sure, they might have me on accuracy, but I think I can take them on distance).     Look, I’ve…

  • Edison Was An Infernal Boob

          I recently came across this startling photograph of Mr. Thomas Alva Edison, the man credited with inventing the electric lightbulb. Staring at the photo it struck me like some sort of object striking another really hard that Edison was an energy-wasting pig!     Just take a gander at his lightbulb! It’s a big…

  • God Save The Queen (Pt. 5)

          Apparently the readership of this blog is much larger and more influential than I thought.     A certain kind woman across the pond has read my tragic story of getting fleeced by the evil Peter TS Wong has taken pity on me. She has sold a few family jewels and spotted me some…

  • Curse you, Wong! (Pt. 4)

           Lying is not nice.      Making someone THINK they are going to be rich and then not coming through with the do re mi is evil.      Robbing someone of their life savings through skullduggery is downright cruel.     As of today, I am broke. Tap city. Busted. Effective today, consider…

  • A Precarious Situation (Pt. 3)

          I’ve been getting a lot of calls lately from bill collectors and such demanding payment on some of the purchases I’ve made since I thought I would be in Richie Richville. It seems my bank account and 401-K funds have been bled dry by someone I’ve never met– a Mr. Wong, allegedly from Hong Kong,…

  • Wong Don’t Make Right (Pt. 2)

           It seems I may have been a wee bit premature in declaring my independent stinking fat-cat wealth recently.  Apparently Mr. Peter T S Wong of Heng Seng Bank Hong Kong is too busy to cut me my check for $125,750,000 as promised.      In the meantime, I have incurred some substantial debt…