The Lint Screen

     In a startling development, it appears ex-president George W. Bush may have his sights set on wearing the Greek fishing cap de coolness from the mysterious deposed Nigerian prince.

     Unnamed White House sources have leaked the contents of the letter Bush left for President Barack Obama in the Oval Office. They are disclosed here in a Lint Screen exclusive:

Letter reveals Ex-Prez making play for Greek fishing cap.

     “Dear Barack,

Enjoy your stay in Washington. I’ll be in Texas, spreading my Fonzie cool in my Greek fishing cap. It’s supposed to be coming my way real soon, baby. Aaayyyyy! Oh, by the way, next time you go shopping get some milk. The carton in the fridge has turned bad. Bye, W.”

     Bernie Madoff refused commenting on the story except to say he was seeking some new investors for a “can’t lose investment opportunity… all it takes is $50 billion.”

     $50 billion later, Mr. Bernard Madoff’s about as cool as a penguin on fire.

Ball cap? You call that cool? We call that pitifully pathetic!

    The poor huckster is hiding the shame he must feel after being taken for $50 billion by a lawyer claiming to represent a deposed Nigerian prince who owns a Greek fishing cap with magical powers to make its owner as cool as Fonzie. Madoff paid the piper but has heard no music just yet.

   Now Madoff appears in public wearing a baseball cap, decidedly uncool headwear. Meanwhile, one imagines the legendary Greek fishing cap somewhere perched atop the skull on one cool hombre. One must get back to work, however, lest one lose hours imagining oneself as said cool hombre wearing the magical Greek fishing cap.

    ”Why me?” said an anguished Madoff as he removed his stupid ballcap and rubbed his hair, “I don’t deserve this kind of pain and suffering.” He suddenly stopped, looked to his shoulders and cried, “No, not dandruff, too! Why does God hate me so?”