The Parking Lot Letters


The Epicenter of My Universe
The Epicenter of My Universe in The Mid-80's.

Behind the writing of every great book there is a great story.

“Beowulf” was written by some drunk dude following a Steppenwolf concert in the year 942.

“On The Road” was written on Route 66 by Jack Kerouac, who was allegedly hit 136 times by passing cars.

Charles Dickens wrote “A Tale of Two Cities” in Minneapolis and St. Paul holding his fountain pen in the toes of his right foot. The original title was “A Tale of Twin Cities & Terribly Painful Toe Cramps”. His publisher made him change both the title and the plot significantly.

Today I share a few entries from a book I wrote in the mid-late 80’s entitled “The Parking Lot Letters (One Man’s Pursuit of Quality Parking)”.

The book has been published by various copy machines I have known over the years. The idea for the book began when the parking lot management company I used when employed by Bozell, Jacobs, Kenyon & Eckhardt Advertising in Dallas (Las Colinas, actually, a business person’s Disney World) raised their monthly rates. Everyone at the agency bitched and moaned about this action. I decided to take a different tact.

I became a champion of all things related to parking. With every monthly parking payment check I sent, I would include a personal letter written to the “Letter Opening Department” of the parking lot management company. I designed my own visually arresting letterheads. The voice of the letters was an obsessive, passionate fan of parking, and my particular parking lot. Early letters featured arbitrary underlining of words– just because it tickled me.

Later letters got more fantastical and deeper into the character’s psyche. Obsessive anything is always fun.

For two years I wrote these good people my manic letters. Then, I left that job to pursue quality parking elsewhere. Free parking! Did I ever hear from them– the parking lot people? Yes, I did get one letter toward the end of my run, but I suspect it was a prank written by someone inside the agency. It was too hip, too inside, too too.

A few months after I left, a friend went  into the parking lot management company office to pay his bill. He told me he saw one of my letters posted on the wall. He asked about the letter and reported the parking lot management guy said he hadn’t heard from me in awhile… and that he really missed my letters. When I heard this, I balled like a baby.

Enjoy these nibbles, feel free to share your favorite parking stories, and may all your parking spots be      W     I       D      E        !

First Letter/PLL

Sad/PLL

Other Man/PLL

NYC-Parking/PLL



4 responses to “The Parking Lot Letters”

  1. The PARKING LOT Attendant
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    When I worked at Y&R, we had a huge parking garage run by a female attendant. She was so fat that one day when I hit her with my car she asked why I didn’t go around her; I said I didn’t think I had enough gas. That parking girl was so ugly she looked like she came in second in a hatchet fight. Boy, she was stupid, too. It took her an hour and a half to watch 60 minutes. But I’ll tell ya, those parking spaces were so tight that you’d get a little thrill pulling into them.

  2. Ladies and germs, please give it up for the greatest parking lot comic of all time, Mr. Paul van Winkle– he’ll be here all week!
    Please tip your servers and valets, drive safely and come again soon…

  3. It was way back in the 90’s when I first met this little scamp of a writer through his parking lot letters. I thought he was hilarious, but wondered if he had the focus it took to edit his writing to a 30 second spot.
    I’m working on my audition for Beth Ann, as we are not going to Jazz Fest, and thought an exorbitant payday for nailing this role an adequate alternative to a week of great jazz.

  4. Your parking lot letters are such a hoot. You have a golden sense of humor and I’m still welling up with silent laughter thinking about them. I want to read them all!

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