Sat 2 Jan 2010
Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, the 23-year old Nigerian terrorist who tried blowing up a Detroit-bound airliner on Christmas day, has received a fruit basket from a newfound fan: Tiger Woods.Woods is appreciative to the terrorist wannabe for grabbing headlines and diverting attention away from Tiger’s numerous sexcapade scandals that have dominated the 24-hour news cycle since Thanksgiving.
“Tiger is a generous man,” said a spokesperson who asked to remain anonymous for fear of retribution and broken limbs. “He needed someone to take the heat off him and this pants-on-fire dude fit the bill perfectly. Tiger’s hoping he gets all the spotlights and ink he can stand.”
In addition to the lovely fruit basket (complete with pears, apples, oranges and other fancy fruits– plus little Dove chocolates), Tiger included an autographed 8″ x 10″ glossy along with some very candid shots of a few of his lady friends.
“Tiger is a extremely generous man,” the silent spokesperson said. “Please don’t tell him I said anything. Please!”