XI Little-Known Super Bowl Facts


Lombardi was all about winning, at all costs.
As the media hype hits its ear-splitting shrill crescendo, Lint presents a grab bag of things you may know about the glorious event.
1. Despite the use of Roman numerals to indicate the number of the Super Bowl, Romans did not play football– although Caligula was reported to have “very good hands” and a quick release.
2. The first Super Bowl was played in ol’ man Rundle’s backyard in Mercer, Pennsylvania. The game between the Chiefs and Packers was cut short when Mr. Rundle chased the players with his cane shouting, “Get on outta here, ya dadgum hooligans!”
3. Only three women have ever played in a Super Bowl game.
4. Legendary coach Vince Lombardi didn’t even like football. “I’m just pretending,” he told a confidant, “to get a trophy named after me. Dude, baseball’s a lot better.”
5. Traditionally all members of the winning team receive commemorative Super Bowl rings, but this was not the case for the first four games. Those winners received commemorative Super Bowl fondue sets and scarves.
6. The first commercial to ever be aired in a Super Bowl game featured a talking animal with a flatulence problem. This tradition has proudly continued.
7. When most quarterbacks are in the huddle, they open up and share their feelings with their teammates. They have a good cry and line-up for the next play.
8. The Cleveland Browns have won more Super Bowl titles than any other professional team. The official record does not reflect this due to jealousy.
9. After the big game, many players shower wearing shower helmets instead of shower caps. Some players sport flip-flops to avoid athlete’s foot.
10. Legendary sportscaster Curt Gowdy coined the now famous phrase, “Holy mulligatawney, that about curled the mule’s hair!”
11. Notorious mobster “Blowtorch” Fransco lost $10 betting on the Falcons in Super Bowl XXXIII in ’99. He never got over it and gave up his life of crime for fashion design.


2 responses to “XI Little-Known Super Bowl Facts”

  1. Gloria Allred is planning to obtain an injunction against this column (while she’s filing to ban use of the Tiger Wood’s golf ball sets with pictures of his paramours) for “outting” the three cross-dressing female players who participated in the SuperBowls. “How DARE he!” she was heard to snear, as the large-ish women (who now dress in female attire) wimpered and vowed revenge against the author. To the one who is a former kicker, Allred is alleged to have said, “Do what you must to him, darling.”

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