Not content with being the world’s greatest golfer, Tiger Woods now wants to secure the “World’s Greatest Husband” novelty coffee mug by buying his wife, Elin, a $2-3 million 61-foot sporting boat.

World's Greatest Hubby? Yes!

“Tiger’s just a romantic fool,” gushed a close friend of the family, “he’s cuckoo-cuckoo for Elin and so he wanted to give her a Valentine’s gift for the ages. He’s so crazy for her he hasn’t even slept with another woman for a couple days. The guy is just incredible with his determination, dedication and focus. Amazing!”

“Man, what chance do I have?,” said a depressed Bill Trailleybud of Ashville, North Carolina, “I got my wife a romantic dinner, some earrings and even suffered sitting through that Valentine’s Day movie– but I look like a cheapskate, unromantic cretin compared to Tiger. I mean, come on, even if I bought the wife a bass boat, I’d look like a jerk. Tiger’s just putting it in the face of all men. I’ll bet he didn’t have to see Valentine’s Day!”

“Tiger’s just got game,” said the close family friend. “When he plays, he plays to win. What a guy!”