Scam artist Bernie Madoff is serving time while his lawyer is serving papers to a fellow inmate at Butner Federal Correctional Institution in North Carolina.

Madoff’s legal mouthpiece, Aaron Hubburrd, says his client was taken advantage of in an elaborate scheme by an unnamed prisoner serving time for fraud. “Mr. Madoff, an upstanding citizen of high moral character, entered into a good faith agreement with an unscrupulous inmate exchanging two packs of cigarettes a week for the promised eventual return of five packs of cigarette a week. Mr Madoff understood the arrangement to be a foolproof way to receive a handsome return on his investment. However, after months and cartons of cigarettes invested, Mr. Madoff’s dreams of nicotine riches have gone up in smoke– he received nothing in return. It is absolutely outrageous and frankly, scandalous, that such an immoral thing could happen in a place like this! When you look at the evidence, it is obvious Mr. Madoff was intentionally cheated and is entitled to justice. If we cannot find justice here, where can we?”

With that, the attorney spat on the ground, pivoted abruptly and marched his $1,500 Testoni Norvegese shoes across the prison yard to catcalls. Guards reported later to have heard “Hrrrrumph!” sounded from his direction.