Month: May 2010

  • Harvard Commencement Address

    I have prepared this inspirational talk in case I am asked to give the commencement address to the 2010 graduating class of Harvard University… When I was your age, I thought the world was mine for the taking. I was going to go forth and seize the day, seize the week, the month, the year.…

  • Making Oilade

    BP announced today plans to release new BP Fish Sticks in grocery stores. The move, viewed as putting into the practice the saying “If life gives you lemons, make lemonade” has many environmental groups furious. “It’s absolutely unconscionable for BP to do this,” said Roger Pretpopp, head of the Gulf Coast Environmental Protection League. “The…

  • Help Save The Bankers!

    As evil self-serving politicians go on a witch hunt against Goldman Sachs and other Wall Street financial types, I’ve become worried. What if the dastardly politicos enact regulations that might curb the free marketeers from earning their paltry hundreds of millions of dollars annually?

  • Road Trip Wonder

    There is a delicious dessert enjoyed while driving on I-85 through South Carolina: The Glorious Gaffney Peach. This magnificent structure stands as a testament to humanity’s ability to think boldly and imaginatively for the enrichment of all. A water tower as a piece of fruit? Yes, it can be done– no wonder we’re top of…