There was one surprising silver lining on the black oil cloud of the recent failure of BP’s “Top Kill” effort– the live camera feed of the oil leak disaster drew millions of curious viewers from around the world.
The viewer response was so strong, BP has decided to launch the live camera feed as a new dedicated cable channel available this summer.
“We’ve been looking at viewership numbers and they are incredible,” said Rory Cappingstap, an independent producer hired by BP. “In overnights, we’ve been posting ‘American Idol’ kind of numbers, which is unheard of these days for a new show. We’re even thinking of getting Simon or Ellen as a guest commentator on our new channel.”
To offset the costs of fixing the spill, BP will sell advertising time on its network. “We’ve been talking with P&G about doing big tie-ins with Dawn, Tide and some of their other products that are smashing at dealing with oily stains and such,” said Mr. Cappingstap. “We’ll also have a heavy rotation of BP corporate spots letting people know how much we care about the environment and that sort of thing.”
If the oil leak is stopped in August, it would severely curtail viewership, but Mr. Cappingstap is optimistic. “We may not be able to cap this well, in which case we’ll be able to keep airing into the fall, and God willing, even get into the spring sweeps. With lots of hungry eyes and untold opportunities for advertising revenue, BPTV is the sort of diversification the company needs in troubled times likes these. This truly is Must-Sea TV! Rather clever, isn’t it?”
6 responses to “BPTV Launches”
During the late, late, late night hours, when most people are asleep, BPTV will likely air two-minute long commercials for ShamWow in a picture-in-picture format. “Hey, folks, it’s Vince the ShamWow guy! Look at all that oil! What a mess! And here’s the big question: How are TransOcean, Halliburton, BP and the federal government going to clean it up??? Well, folks, ShamWow super absorbent towels are made for big messes… the kind you’re looking at day and night on BPTV, not to mention the kind of messes that happen around your own home! ShamWow towels are made in Germany, folks, so you know they’re good. Here’s the thing, folks… ShamWow towels clean spills fast and last for years! Get a big supply of ShamWow towels… you’ll say WOW with every barrel of BP crude you wipe up, WOW to every mile of Gulf coast line you clean up!”
Brilliant, Mr. O’Rielly.
Congratulations, you are the new Creative Director and SVP of Sales & Marketing for BPTV!
Job # 1– find more sponsors!
Modern Meats has been considering some non-print media, as the “meat moustache” campaign for meat shakes (drink your meat!), appetizing as it is, has been running for seven years now, and is getting, as they say, “the itch” for bigger and better things. This serendipitous channel may be a good fit for us. We’ll run this up the flagpole with our MarCom (Modern Meats Communications) people and see if it waves.
They can put those commercials in there, but I’m just like any other American. I’ll just record BPTV on my DVR and zap through ’em.
Yes, BPTV is just the advertising vehicle for reaching ravenous carnivores. Come aboard, Missy K., our Creative Director C. O’Rielly will happily jiffy-up some ideas!
Ouch, that hurts.