“After the tremendous success we’ve achieved fixing pesky oil leaks, we sincerely believe we can help the former vice president with his ticker,” said a BP company spokesperson. “Mr. Cheney’s had a world of trouble with his heart, but we’re confident we can help him. After all, look at how we saved the Gulf of Mexico after God erupted that enormous oil spill! Which, by the way, we’re determined to clean up and make right, not because it’s our fault, but because that’s just the kind of swell janes and joes we are!”
The official refused to explain exactly what BP officials had in mind to fix Cheney’s heart, he only said, “It might take some experimenting with innovative techniques or drilling alternate pumping resources, but we feel pretty confident we can make it right. It’s what we do!”
4 responses to “BP Proposes Fixing Cheney’s Heart”
Forget about the heart troubles. How about a cap over his mouth to suppress toxic vocal leaks?
Bam! Thanks, Bill.
Okay, maybe it was a little harsh for me to suggest that Mr. Cheney’s head be fitted with a BP-made metal cap complete with pipes and valves and monitored by the Coast Guard and webcams just because he may have said things in the past that I don’t agree with. After all, he was Vice President of our country and deserves some respect. However, I do find the prospect intriguing.
This being America, feel free to speak your piece.
I suspect BP could fix anything!