It’s not electric eye-triggered soap dispensers and water facets– which are typically spotty in performance, or robotic toilet tissue dispensers “May I assist in wiping, please, master?”
No, the real revolution is in hand drying.
Yes, hand drying.
It used to be that the Globe Hand Dryer was the pinnacle of hot air-blowing technology, but now it has been blown to the sidelines by a beast that calls itself Xlerator. 
If you’ve encountered the Xlerator, you know exactly what I’m talking about.
Place your wet hands beneath its nozzle and watch as your skin and flesh do their best to stay attached to your skeleton. While the old World Dryer purred with a kitten’s warm breath, Xlerator roars like a ferocious lion. It devours wetness.
This baby means business and wet hands don’t stand a chance. “Get dry, bitches! DRY!”
Xlerator is one of the true wonders of the 21st century. It’s what George Jetson might use to dry his hands.
We’ll assume Rosie may have helped him with the toilet tissue duties.
Sometimes the future ain’t so pretty.
6 responses to “The Ferocious Winds of Change”
That’s risky business taking pictures in public restrooms. I bet you had to pay out the poop shoot to get those photos.
A hardcore journalist like myself does what it takes to get the job done. Why? For readers like you!
Having experienced the force majeure nature of the Xlerator, I wonder why the technology hasn’t been extended into other areas.
How about, for example, a portable, rechargeable Xlerator that can be bolted to the back of a bicycle? I’m no rocket scientist, but I bet the Xlerator’s thrust would propel a bike along at speeds that would be a little scary.
Could be, too, that autos should be equipped with the kind of Xlerators I envision for transportation purposes. Something like quad Xlerators that kick in when you need an extra boost of power.
If you care to be an angel investor in the early stages of my portable, rechargeable Xlerator research – a project that could eventually receive large federal funding grants since it’s possibly a form of green technology – please send a check.
Hmmm, a tempting offer, to write you checks.
Great ideas for extensions of the Xlerator product. I am curious about the name. When I speak it aloud, I want to say, “Excellerator” but actually it should be “Exlerator” which has 0 sex appeal.
Great product, lousy name. Just goes to show you cannot trust science to do everything!
In Spain I have been in bathrooms with a dyson airblade – really works w/o aggressive volumes of air.
I saw an ad for that product. Looked interesting. Hope the Dysan fans come to US bathrooms. We can have a dry-off.