Get To Know “The Kimster”


When kooky ol’ North Korean leader Kim Jong-il announced that his youngest son, Kim Jong-un, would succeed him as leader, many asked, “Huh, what’s up with that?”

Get to know me, dudes!
Well, for the curious, here are some little know facts about the next leader of Commie Korea.

• He prefers radishes to celery and Captain Morgan’s to both
• Nickname: ‘Son of Looney Tunes’
• Favorite band: Jefferson Starship
• When he was a baby, often wet himself
• Favorite number: 666
• Adores romance novels with Vikings and mermaids
• Dude loves his beer pong and rules at Atari Pong, too!
• He’s Korean
• Follows Ashton K’s tweets religiously
• Hopes to some day appear on Dancing With The Stars in a sheer satin gown
• Has two friends on Facebook, his father is one of them
• Digs thongs
• Likes dragons better than unicorns, neither as much as solid gold bricks
• Wants to grow a John Waters ‘stache some day
• Is seriously considering changing name to Kim Jong-Awesome!


6 responses to “Get To Know “The Kimster””

  1. Other little known facts about Kim Jong-un:

    * Contumelious of outsiders.
    * Tap dances.
    * Plays xylolphone in garage band.
    * Wants to bring Bristol and Levi back together, win Nobel Peace Prize.
    * Hot kimchi chicks call him “Lil’ Studly.”
    * As small child, played with toy nukes.
    * High school dropout.
    * Tiny fingers, tiny… well, you know.

  2. Other facts I’ve just learned:

    • Recently mastered masturbation, pissed Christine O’Donnell opposes it.
    • Worries about WWF if Linda McMahon gets elected.
    • Thinks Michelle Bachmann is nuts but hot.
    • Has sent cash to US Chamber of Commerce to help buy 2012 election.
    • Upset he hasn’t been invited to tea party. Will bring own tea.
    • Has stand-up comedy act that kills North Koreans who don’t laugh on cue.
    • Dreams of turning Rachel Maddow straight.

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