Month: November 2010

  • Bristol & The Situation Cause End of Civilization

    What do you get when you cross The Situation with Bristol Palin? Absolutely nothing! The two pop culture icons appear together in a compellingly persuasive new PSA all about safe sex that has proven so effective, people no longer feel the need to have sex. Population experts fear the human race may soon become extinct…

  • Pity Morley Safer

    Imagine you’ve spent a distinguished career as a respected journalist, and you finally get a shot to appear in a feature film alongside Bob Schieffer and Chris Matthews and HARRISON FORD! You’d be thinking, I’m golden, I got me some cinematic gold dust to sprinkle on my career. Unfortunately, the movie is a miserable mess…

  • Outrage Over New TSA “Extra Security Candid Photos”

    The American air-traveling public was upset enough over enhanced TSA pat-down checks and body scans, but now its ire is on full boil with new ‘extra security candid photos’ being enacted in airports nationwide. Select travelers are taken into a private security areas where they are asked to disrobe, and in some cases wear revealing…

  • Obama Considers Buying Ranch

    In an attempt to bolster his sagging approval ratings, President Barack Obama is reportedly giving serious consideration to buying a ranch. An anonymous source in Obama’s secret inner circle called “The Whispering Shadows of Secrecy And Skullduggery” said the story is absolutely true during a clandestine meeting with this journalist at a popular Washington, D.C.…

  • “Due Date” Way Overdue in The Laugh Department

    I can’t recall if it was Gene Siskel or Roger Ebert who came up with ‘beware three or more writers rule’, but he was very wise. The rules is simple: if a screenplay has three or more people listed in the credit, you’ve got an early warning sign it’s going to be a bad movie.…

  • Lonely Cute Kitten On Moon Lost Oilade Job Hunting Swedish Bikini Team With Fab Four X-ray Porn

    The statistical analysis department here at The Lint Screen recently issued a 146-page report detailing the most popular key words that have attracted readers to this site. According to the number crunchers, here’s the catnip for curious eyeballs: moon lost Swedish Bikini Team job hunting X-ray porn cute kitten oilade fab four lonely These key…