New Senator of Wisconsin!

Yesterday’s dramatic election sent a strong message to Washington, D.C.: “Get outta here, you bums, we’re sick and tired of your infernal shenanigans– so much so that we’re going to send all kinds of looneys to replace you just to prove a point of how hacked-off we are!”

And so it came to pass that a number of incumbents were tossed aside like yesterday’s spent coffee grinds in favor or radical “antiestablishment” candidates, including in one surprising upset, a whisk broom was elected the new Senator from the great state of Wisconsin.

An actual whisk broom!

“Originally, we put the whisk broom in the election as a joke,” said Marty Fingletreat, chairman of the Angry Tea Dumper Party, “but then it started doing really well in the polls. We knew this inanimate object might have a chance. So, we got some serious PAC money behind us to slam the broom’s opponent, and bippity-boo-scattamazoo– whiskers the broom won! What an incredible story, a true American tale. It’ll be interesting to see how it does in Washington. We’re already raising funds for whisk broom’s reelection.”

And so is written a new chapter of American politics. Sweet dreams, citizens, sleep well.