Month: December 2010

  • Fungo Bats, Driving Ranges & True Grit

    In baseball and softball practice, coaches often use a fungo bat to hit balls. The thin bat allows coaches to hit easily with accuracy. In golf, players groove their swings at driving ranges. They can practice different stances, grips, swings and curse words. And in movies, I feel like Joel and Ethan Coen have grooved…

  • Holiday Digital Greetings

    To save on printing and postage to readers in Northern Mariana Islands, Angola, Ecuador, Latvia and 144 other places, The Lint Screen is proud to post the official holiday card of Ames Scullin O’Haire along with the 2010 Scullin family holiday card (the back panel was written by son, Jack– to quote Tim and Eric…

  • Broadway “Spiderman” Delayed Again

    In an exclusive interview, Marcia Toopluy, spokesperson for the upcoming Broadway musical Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark, said the production is “not cursed” and that all the accidents associated with rehearsals were “simply freaky things that happen, like walking under a ladder and getting a mirror broken over your head and a black cat thrusting…

  • What A Life

    Look at the top selling non-fiction hardcover books: George W’s memoirs of why he did what he did, the autobiography of Mark Twain, Sarah Palin’s Palinographic view of the world, Glenn Beck’s ranting and a little something called Life by some guy named Keith Richards (and his pal, James Fox). I just finished Life, and…

  • New Gov’t Program To Solve Deficit Crisis!

    In a unified bipartisan effort, lawmakers from both the Democratic and Republican Parties have rallied together and devised an innovative new plan to defeat the growing United States deficit problem. Effective February 1, 2011, the Federal Deficit Reduction/Tax Cutting & Enhanced Entitlement Program goes into effect at a projected cost of $6.9 trillion. This program…

  • More Bad News, Good News

    Relatives I don’t know are dropping like flies, but they wish to leave me their fortunes. Should I show grief or good fortune? I’m not sure if I should wear black or a gold lamay suit. Perhaps I can find a nice black gold lamay suit. Not a week after I was informed I’m in…