In an exclusive interview, Marcia Toopluy, spokesperson for the upcoming Broadway musical Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark, said the production is “not cursed” and that all the accidents associated with rehearsals were “simply freaky things that happen, like walking under a ladder and getting a mirror broken over your head and a black cat thrusting its claws into your face.”

Earlier this week, an actor fell 20-feet during rehearsals and was hospitalized. A multitude of accidents and production technical glitches have four times delayed the opening date of the $65 million show. To ensure its financial stability, when the show does open in early February, tickets will cost $350,000 for orchestra seats and $210,000 for balcony seats. Unsold tickets will be half-priced day of show at TKTS.

“But the production is not cursed,” said Ms. Toopluy, “we have great expectations it will be a major hit and a huge financial success.” She then mysteriously burst into flames. She shouted, “this interview is over.”