Linguist, genius, rock star!

Charlie Sheen made earth-shattering historic news today announcing that he is seeking trademarks on 22 of his popular catchphrases, including “Duh, winning,” “Tiger blood” and “Rock star from Mars.” But this is only half the story.

Sheen has confided to his inner circle of sycophants and hangers-on that he has a new batch of catchphrases he’ll be unleashing soon, and that once these new phrases take root, he’ll be seeking more trademark protections.

These soon to released catchphrases include: “Spank the orphan,” “Actuary from Venus,” “Sippin’ nectar from a boot,” “Greasing the marsupial,” “Mail the derringer,” “Kip kip chareesha mikalee,” “Cheese, please,” “Nothing but fishnets,” “Territorial commerce kindredship,” “The vampire wore linen,” and “Woooo, snakey wakes!”

Experts say Sheen’s aggressive language mixology could change communications forever.

Whee skinny laptadoo!”