Month: June 2011

  • Bulger’s Barista Tells All

    When notorious Boston mobster and public enemy #1, 81-year old Whitey Bulger was captured last week in Santa Monica where he had been on the lam for 15 years, many were shocked and surprised. But one person was not: Tim Ergskins, the barista working the Starbucks on the Third Street Promenade in Santa Monica. “The…

  • Bin Laden’s Bucket List Revealed

    In the stash of info and porn gathered from Osama bin Laden’s crib/compound on May 1, a rare insight into the madman was released today: his official personal bucket list. In a world exclusive, The Lint Screen is pleased to present it in its entirety. (NOTE: The original list was in the angry kook’s handwriting,…

  • Cry, America, Cry

    Think of the saddest tearjerker movie you’ve ever seen, now prepare for it to become #2 on the soggy hankie list. The documentary Inside Job is a must-see film about the financial meltdown that crippled the world thanks to the piggy greed of fat cat pin stripers on Wall Street and in the government. When…

  • Serving Time on Jury Duty

    One day it shows up unannounced, like an obnoxious person you knew from college that you had hoped you’d never see again. It’s a summons for jury duty; your civic duty for being a counted by the census. I had served once before, 15 years ago. Here in Gwinnett County, Georgia, jury duty could be…

  • Bye Bye Big Man

    Clarence Clemons is dead at age 69. Nicknamed The Big Man, he stood 6′ 5″ and weighed-in at 270. Pity his pall bearers. Pity us fans. His mighty lungs were the engine room of Bruce Springsteen’s E Street Band. When he picked up his mighty tenor sax, the walls of Jericho protecting the human core…

  • LeBron Wants To Play For Mavs

    In an exclusive The Lint Screen interview, Miami Heat megastar LeBron James said he wants to play for the Dallas Mavericks next year. The Mavericks beat the Heat on Sunday to become the NBA’s championship team. “LeBron is a champion,” said James who recently began referring to himself in the third person for dramatic effect,…