Month: August 2011

  • al-Qaeda Leader al-Zawahiri Updating Resume

    Following the assassination of Osama bin Laden in his Pakistan porn crib on May 2, Ayman al-Zawahiri became the acting leader of the no-goodnik al-Qaeda organization. al-Zawahiri, long recognized as a dastardly mastermind but lacking in the charisma department, is reportedly fed up with leading the organization after almost four months. “He’s had it,” said…

  • Don’t Be An Idiot

    Our Idiot Brother may be the most disappointing movie of the year. It’s chocked with talented, interesting performers– Paul Rudd, Elizabeth Banks, Zooey Deschanel, Steve Coogan, Emily Mortimer, Rashida Jones and more– yet it muddles around aimlessly trying to decide if it’s shooting for comedy, drama, dramedy, comedrama, morality tale, what exactly? In the end,…

  • He Was “For The Rest of Us”

    Steve Jobs has left the building. He is no longer Mr. Apple. While this day had to eventually come, it doesn’t make it any easier to take. No other business leader has been such a visionary, and no other company is such a reflection of its inspirational leader. Jobs is Apple, Apple is Jobs, and…

  • Lobbyist Says Buffet Should Be Deported

    Billionaire Warren Buffet, who testified last week that he and other super rich not be “coddled” by lenient tax laws, has been accused of being a socialist agitator who should be deported immediately. “We can’t have troublemakers like Buffet running around serving bowls of loudmouth soup,” said Paul Guggins, a lobbyist for another billionaire’s company.…

  • It’s The Script, Stupid!

    Oh, Hollywood, how many times have you tried to throw star power at a project, locked in a grade-A director and spent the GDP of a small country on special effects only to end up with a celluloid turd that’s DOA? The answer is way too many times. The problem is black and white: the…

  • Poo Flingers Rise Up

    If you’ve ever been to the zoo, you’ve probably seen apes do some amazing things like fling their poo or eat their own vomit. Do not be mislead. Although they may act like drunk frat pledges, they’re actually crafty critters– especially when you give them some drugs that turbo-goose their intellect. Rise of The Planet…