Mon 29 Aug 2011
al-Zawahiri, long recognized as a dastardly mastermind but lacking in the charisma department, is reportedly fed up with leading the organization after almost four months.
“He’s had it,” said an insider close to al-Qaeda operations. “There’s too many meetings, too many PowerPoint presentations, too many forms to fill out and expense reports to sign. He’s toast, so he’s updating his resume and starting to network like crazy. He’s even joined Facebook and LinkedIn– he’s that serious.”
Reportedly the 60-year old leader is also fed up with not getting any respect within the organization. “He always lived in Osama’s shadow,” said a confidant, “and that hurt al-Zawahiri’s ego. He thought that when he took over he’d get some respect, but it hasn’t happened–– dude’s the Rodney Dangerfield of terrorists.”
Apparently al-Zawahiri is also concerned about the recent drone-induced death of the #2 al Queda official, Atiyah Abdul Rahman.
“They’re dropping like flies,” said the unnamed source, “and al-Zawahiri wants to get out while he can. Rumor has it he’ll even shave his face fur for the right opportunity.”