Month: October 2011

  • Single Celled Organism May Enter Race

    In a surprising development, rumors have surfaced that a single celled organism may enter the presidential race. “It makes sense,” said a respected pundit. “We’ve got a crowded field of humans, a cute kitty, an adorable puppy and a lovable monkey. A single celled organism could prove to be a substantial threat, especially if it…

  • Lovable Monkey Enters Race

    Just when America thought it was a two horse presidential race between a puppy and a kitten, a new candidate aims to make monkeys out of both–– a lovable precious precocious primate named Ms. Pickles! Dan Gruthers, the campaign manager for Ms. Pickles spoke to reporters outside his Tempe, Arizona home. “I think that little…

  • Tuggles: Paws Could Be A Killer

    “He has love in heart for all, except those evilniks who would do harm to America. He hates them deeply and wants to kill them with extreme prejudice to send their souls to hell for eternal damnation.”

  • Paws Claims Tuggles May Be A Killer

    As the heat of campaigning turns up, Sam Merchant, campaign manager for popular pup prez candidate, Santy Paws, today speculated that a dead bird discovered in a Canfield, Ohio yard may have been the handiwork of competing presidential candidate, cute kitty Mr. Tuggles, a Canfield resident. “Look, lots of birds get done in by these…

  • Tuggles Claims Paws Not Housebroken

    Jerry Ossenwold, campaign manager for cute kitten prez candidate sensation, Mr. Tuggles, today called a major press conference in which he made allegations that Santy Paws, the adorable puppy presidential hopeful, is not housebroken. “How can we possibly put that mutt in the White House if he ain’t even housebroken? Do we want pee stains…