Watson Jumps to Lead in Iowa


Watson has captivated cornhusker country, but good!
The newly announced presidential candidate, IBM’s brainiac computer, Watson, has jumped to the lead in the latest Iowa caucus polling.

Many attribute this to Watson’s smart move of saying he would “give huge corn subsidies to farmers– more money than they can possibly imagine, I’m talking fistfuls of benjamins, baby” and back a program for “100% ethanol– because the country needs more corn fuel and less Arab oil.”

Later, Watson proclaimed that “Iowa is the best four-lettered state in the nation in which three of the letters are vowels. And I mean that from the bottom of my motherboard.”

People in Ohio were upset at this statement and registered their complaints. A contrite Watson claimed he would have another statement to make after the Iowa caucus and before the Ohio primaries. He would not comment about what his statement might be.

This computer may be hard to beat.


4 responses to “Watson Jumps to Lead in Iowa”

  1. I think Watson should back off this notion of selling Iowans on wild ideas. I recall a story about some salesman selling band instruments and uniforms in Iowa and having trouble. That’s Trouble with a capital T.

  2. For a candidate to go far they need a spouse, Watson needs to find one who will fit the guide lines of his “family values” party. Thus she must be of his general background (no typewriters),not of foreign origin (Toshiba, etc.) and be blonde. Perhaps he could ask Newt where he got his machine.

  3. Good point, Sandy. I agree, Watson may find it problematic to be running without a mate. There will be whispers. Newt is a good role model as he seems to be continually casting for the perfect mate.

    Stay tuned, and thanks for collecting Lint.

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