Month: January 2012

  • Ms. Pickles Disavows Super PAC Ads

    Today, lovable monkey presidential candidate, Ms. Pickles, categorically denied the recent wave of negative advertising run by her Super PAC, Citizens For A World Worth Living In. Although the monkey is incapable of human speech, a translator told reporters what Ms. Pickles’ monkey sounds meant. “As far as my recent Super PAC ads state, let…

  • “And The Oscar Goes To… Television!”

    After shelling out big bucks to see well over a couple dozen movies this past year, it finally struck me–– the big screen is getting trumped by the little one. The creative output on broadcast television far exceeds the re-hashed plotlines, remakes, kiddie pablum, cookie cutter sequels, artsy-fartsy borefests and special effects-driven mindless fare Hollywood…

  • Slab of Granite Wins New Hampshire Primary

    The people of New Hampshire are a stubborn lot, steeped in good old New England practicality and common sense. Staying true to their character, yesterday these hearty individuals refused to follow any parade but one led by a different drummer on a horse of a different color. In a defiantly independent move demonstrating a people…

  • Gigundo Upset In Iowa!

    In the nonhuman Iowa presidential caucuses held yesterday, pundits had it down to the wire with a three horse race, none of which were horses. IBM’s Watson computer, precious puppy, Santy Paws, and lovable monkey, Ms. Pickles were the contenders– but all were shocked in a huge upset of write-in candidate, Fritos. “Today, Iowans sent…

  • Watson Missteps In Iowa

    Super duper IBM computer, Watson, the all time champ in playing Jeopardy may have put his presidential hopes in jeapody with some unfortunate boners he recently pulled in Iowa. In a speech in Ames, the computer said, “We all must pay respects for our great and benevolent leader supreme, Kim Jong Il. Never has any…