If salty snack elected, your U.S. currency becomes toast!

In a bold political move, nonhuman presidential candidate, Bag o’ Fritos, has promised to end “the nanny state of government forcing a dependency on paper.”

Hank Wentrom, the popular salty snack’s campaign spokesman, delivered a prepared statement to members of the press in which Fritos proclaimed, “Too many humans have become slaves to the almighty dollar. It drives humans to distraction. It is a perfect example of the government’s nanny state, forcing itself and its scraps of paper with its name on them into all transactions of human interaction. My first order as president will be to have a big bonfire and burn all U.S. currency. This symbol of liberation will illuminate our freedom from the tyranny of governmental monetary dependency!”

When asked how the economy would operate without a monetary system, Wentrom stormed off the stage in what some described as “a huff” and others as “an angry tizzy.”