Deviled eggs tortured the evil maniac, Osama bin Laden. Good!

The Lint Screen has received more details about the contents of Osama bin Laden’s secret diary discovered in the raid on his pad last year, including the following startling entries:

– “Am sick and tired of all my friends sending me requests on Facebook to join Farmville. Why would I care to tend crops? Has the world gone nuts?”

– “Wanted to order some chinos from J. Crew, but for the life of me couldn’t recall my inseam size. Is this what growing older is all about, forgetting everything?”

– “Can’t recall the name of wife #4. Will just call her ‘snoogums’ and be done with it. Cursed, stupid, wretchedly useless brain!”

– “Constipated. Again. Deviled eggs and goat casserole do not agree with me.”

– “My porn collection feels far too familiar. Need variety. Amish?”

– “If it ever snows, I swear I’m making angel wings, then people will see I’m not such a bad guy.”

– “I feel vulnerable. Vulnerable, lonely and fat.”

– “Diary, you are only one who understands me. Maybe I should capture Dr. Phil.”