Month: September 2012

  • NFL Owners Take Decisive Action: Replacement Players

    The owners of NFL teams carry a bit more clout than God, and they are tired of hearing players bellyache about the crappy calls being made by replacement referees who are subbing for the real refs who were locked-out by owners for requesting a few more coins. “Look, I’ve had it with these big, beefy…

  • The Best Movie of 2011?

    2011 was hardly a great year for motion pictures. War Horse, The Help, Moneyball, Hugo, The Artist and The Descendants were lauded as some of the best. While many were way above average, none were worthy of much thought beyond the initial screening. Now you can see what The Lint Screen believes was the best…

  • Al Qaeda Steps Up Recruitment Efforts

    With another Al Qaeda #2 biting the dust, the evil terrorist network has decided to turn up the heat in recruitment efforts. Following Saeed al-Shihri’s encounter with a bomb recently in Yemen, the #2 Al Qaeda position is once again open. Reports from a secret source in the no goodnik organization say that there is…

  • Convention Speech

    Thank you ladies and gentlemen, fellow Americans, patriots. Mine is a simple story. A truly American story. A story that is completely unique but also altogether familiar. My great grandparents came to this country from a place called The Old Country. They came here for that new country smell. And they came to America for…