Sesame Street’s elder statesmen, Big Bird, has been missing from this community since Thursday morning, said local resident, Rabbie Rodent.
“Big Bird’s on the lam,” said the large rat with a foaming mouth. “He said someone had put a contract out on him and that he had to take a powder. Said he might be going to Salt Lake City and maybe changing his religion. He was really nervous, sweating, all jittery dropping f-bombs like he was being scripted by Tarantino. Sort of like when he was coming down from his vowel addiction a few years back. I kind of felt sorry for the big yellow fellow, but then he hit me upside the head with a lead pipe and stole my wallet and stash of prime numbers. That sucker needs to get put down, plucked and made into pillows.”
Rabbie Rodent then bit this reporter, apologized and went back to his trash can.
10 responses to “Big Bird Flies The Coop”
Prime to 300 digits or you’ll never see this bird again.
If you’re relying on me to list prime numbers under 300, the Bird’s goose is cooked.
Best stuff him first.
You is one heartless word boy. Want us to save you the hips?
Sounds great. And please save a breast and wing for Thanksgiving.
The bird’s no fool. The government’s getting out of the entertainment business. My advice? Learn how to assemble fighter planes or drill for oil in the permafrost.
Good point, Bill. Or, form a government bureau with the task of tackling how to reduce the size of government. Hire 100- 200 million people, unemployment solved.
Vote Scullin 2016!!!
May I be your James Carville? PLEASE?!?
Yes, yes you may.
Hell, please be my running mate and we’ll hire the real Carville.
YAY! I always wanted that job!
Great. I’m going to start writing speeches, platforms, talking points and whatnot.
Wait– the election isn’t until 2016. I think I’ll think about procrastinating a little later…