Fri 29 Mar 2013
North Korean leader Kim Jong Un is so upset with the United States of America, he is threatening an attack of “the biggest, nastiest most lethal and deadly flying dragon ever, breathing killer fires of death and destruction to murder terrible, evil imperialists! We will win this game of thrones game with our superior dragon weaponry!”
Un, or “The Greatest Person Ever To Walk The Earth” to his friends, says that he must take a stand against the U.S. because “I’ve got to prove myself even more batshit crazy than my old man was, and believe me, I’ve got a ways to go yet.”
The North Korean dictator has dropped rumors that he may also have other weapons at his disposal including “an 800-foot cat who is hungry and has very sharp claws, a giant octopus that will throw children having temper tantrums and a mermaid that brews very weak tea and then detonates nuclear bombs that kill and destroy all living things. The weak tea disappoints, but the nuclear weapons hurt even more.”
There has been no official U.S. response to Un.