A look inside what's what in the V-City Race

A look inside what’s what in the big holy roller race

Here are some safe bets as the Papal conclave to replace retired Benedict XVI begins in Rome:
- The new Pope will be Catholic (or at least a very conservative Methodist)
- The new Pope may look into securing a new Pope Mobile as attractive financing rates are available for a limited time only during Pope-A-Thon Daze
- Chances are the new church leader will not select the following names: Pope Awesome, Pope Spike, Pope Jimmy T., Pope Coolness or Pope Slappy
- The smart money is on the winner being male
- Although campaigning will be intense, Karl Rove and James Carvelle will not secure consultant fees
- The winning candidate will most likely not moondance and trash talk competitors

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