Yesterday, Apple’s leader Tim Cook headed a special news conference where the rock musician Elvis Costello performed.

Today, Apple stock is getting hammered on Wall Street.

“Elvis Costello was a mistake,” said a Goldman Sachs tech analyst. “Cook should have picked someone hip and hot, like I don’t know, maybe Steve Perry from Journey or who’s that lead singer of Kansas–– ol’ what’s his name.”

A Morgan Stanley analyst thought Miley Cyrus would have been a better choice. “She’s hot what with her twerking and all, and have you seen this new video she did for ‘Wrecking Ball’– man, Bruce Springsteen didn’t get naked or lick a sledgehammer when he did that song!”

At the news conference, apparently Apple also had some new product news.