Month: February 2014

  • Zombies Coming to Downton

    Julian Fellowes, creator and writer of the popular series Downton Abbey has been under fire recently for the boredom he’s brought to the usual scintillating programing of PBS. Season Four has been lambasted as “a snooze fest” and “a royal bore.” But Fellowes has a plan to kick up the action. “In last week’s episode,…

  • Ken Upset By Barbie SI Cover

    His face may be plastic, but that doesn’t mean Barbie doll’s main man, Ken, can’t cry. “I can’t believe she did this to me,” said a visibly distraught Ken as he drank from a bottle of Wild Turkey. “You think you know someone, and she goes and does something like this–– parading herself almost nude…

  • Putin Wins Gold Medal

    Rooskie #1, Vladimir Putin, has scored a first for world leaders by snagging the first gold medal at the Sochi Olympic Games. “I defy anyone to find another country’s president who ever won any medal in Olympics history,” said a beaming Putin as he wore his gold medal on his bare chest with erect nipples…

  • Super Un-Bowled

    Chalk another Super Bowl ROMAN NUMERAL SOMETHING OR OTHER into the history books. The Seahawks blew the Broncos off the field. When your opening snap leads to a safety, you know you’re in for a long night. Since the game was a blow-out, America was ready for the Super Bowl of commercials, and they got…

  • Punxsutawney Phil Refuses to Show

    Tomorrow is Groundhog Day, and the guest of honor has said he won’t show. Punxsutawney Phil, the famous groundhog who the world watches every February 2nd, has issued a press release stating he won’t cast a shadow (or not) tomorrow morning. “Look, I’m not an idiot,” the marmot’s release states, “I’ve read about all these…