Month: April 2014

  • Obama Wants Bundy To Serve

    Cliven Bundy, the Nevada rancher who recently began a bromance with Sean Hannity over his refusal to pay federal grazing fees, may be in line for an important job with the federal government. Rumors are circulating that President Obama would like to dispatch Bundy as a special envoy in helping improve U.S. relations worldwide. A…

  • Job Hunters: Tell A Good Story

    I’m a pack rat. I have separation issues with stuff–– my issue being I rarely separate from it. But sometimes, one has to ditch things lest one appear featured in a “Hoarders” episode. So, down to the storage area of the basement I went. I had piles of work created over my advertising career. Much…

  • Afghans Vote To Abolish Purple Ink

    The population of Afghanistan turned out in droves today in a special election to abolish purple ink in the country. “We’re sick and tired of dipping our index finger in the stuff after we vote,” said an irate Afghan man, age 58, who ironically had to dip his finger into purple ink after casting his…

  • Star Talk Revealed

    If one ever wished to be a fly, one would wish to be a fly on the wall when three great talents met: Michael Jordan, Macaulay Culkin and Michael Jackson. In a exclusive scoop, The Lint Screen has acquired a transcript of their 1992 conversation, saving you the bother of being transformed into a fly…

  • Man Killed in Tragic April Fools Prank

    April Fools Day celebrates wacky hijinks, but sometimes those shenanigans can have a dark and deadly side, as 46-year-old Tom Cronler discovered this morning outside his home in Powdersville, South Carolina. Cronler got into his car to go to work and was bitten repeatedly by copperhead snakes and black widow spiders that had been placed…