The Lint Screen editorial staff working hard

The first man to walk on the moon, Paula Deen, once quipped, “To air is human, to forgive define.” It is in that spirit of definition that The Lint Screen prints this correction of goofs and blunders our editorial staff has made.
+ The Shining was written by Stephen King, not Martin Luther King
+ The Empire State Building does in fact contain elevators; we had reported that the tall building contains “a whole bunch of dumbwaiters and dudes with tired arms”
+ Ulysses S. Grant fought in The American Civil War, not “an epic 23-hour game of Risk”
+ The Beatles were known as “The Fab Four”, not Peter, Paul and Mary
+ Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. We had mistakenly disclosed that they “went up the hill to torch a couple spliffs of righteous bush, got totally baked and came tumbling down, man. Bummer!”
+ The Washington Monument is not shaped like the nation’s first president
+ Lebron James is a professional basketball player. We had erroneously reported that he was “the lesser known James brother in the rootin’ tootin’ wild, wild west!”
+ The name of the IBM computer that humiliated humanity playing Jeopardy was Watson, not “The Brainiac 6000”
+ Cats say “meow” and cows say “moo”–– not vice versa as we stated, although our reporter insists he’s heard cats moo

Despite these few errors, please know that The Lint Screen will continue its mission to be the most trusted source of information and perfection on the internet.

Thank you.
The Editore