Month: July 2014

  • Obama Hires Tough TV Lawyer For Defense

    First, Speaker of the House John Boehner sued Lebron James. Yesterday, he got official congressional approval to sue someone even bigger–– President Barack Obama. And this big man wasted no time in counterpunching back. Obama has secured Harry “Hammertime” Krinkston for his defense attorney! “The president was impressed with Krinkston’s television commercials that run late…

  • Nigerian Prince Admits Deception

    Baginza Washoobi, a wealthy Nigerian prince who has sent personal emails to many people worldwide, today admitted that he lied. “I miscalculated my net worth,” the embarrassed prince told The Lint Screen. “I have been telling people my family fortune is forty-six million U.S. dollars, but actually, I’m afraid it is closer to forty-five million…

  • 11 Little Know Facts About The Beatles

    For over fifty years, the world has been awash in The Beatles. You thought you’d heard everything, but maybe not. The Lint Screen has unearthed the following eleven nuggets for your enlightenment. 1. The band’s original name was Yanni 2. John did not want to release the first Beatles album on vinyl, he suggested they…

  • Boehner Sues LeBron James

    Speaker of the House John Boehner is keeping his legal team busy. Now he’s suing both President Obama and NBA superstar LeBron James. In a lawsuit filed earlier today, Boehner claims “LeBron is acting like a King, even pronouncing himself ‘King James’. He seems to think that he can claim whatever domain he likes, moving…

  • RomCom Yuckfest

    For anyone who’s suffered through mindless romantic comedies, They Came Together covers some familiar territories with sharp sarcastic teeth. It does for the genre what Airplane did for disaster movies (not nearly as hilarious, but with plenty of laughs, characters and memorable scenes). Just to be clear, this is not a classic like Airplane, but…

  • Boehner Blasts Obama For USA Weakness in World Cup

    U.S. Speaker of the House, John Boehner, thinks President Barack Obama once again let the nation down by allowing its soccer team to be defeated by Belgium 2-1 in The World Cup quarterfinals yesterday. “Obama once again has shown America weakness,” said Boehner in a prepared statement, “and it’s a disgrace.” Boehner went on to…