First, Speaker of the House John Boehner sued Lebron James. Yesterday, he got official congressional approval to sue someone even bigger–– President Barack Obama. And this big man wasted no time in counterpunching back.

Obama has secured Harry “Hammertime” Krinkston for his defense attorney!

“The president was impressed with Krinkston’s television commercials that run late at night,” said a White House insider. “He likes the fact that at the end of spot, Krinkston looks directly into the camera and says, “Someone causing you trouble? Let me cause them pain. I’ll kill the mooks, so help me ginny!” Then, Krinkston does his signature move, curling his right hand into a fist and punching the camera as a title reads: HAMMERTIME! along with the phone number of his office.

Although Krinkston’s TV commercials usually highlight his personal injury and car accident expertise, the attorney’s office said “he can handle any case that needs two fists of justice.”