Month: October 2014

  • Ebola Gets All Cuddly

    Seeing the success ISIS has had since re-branding itself and making terrorism more approachable, the deadly disease Ebola has engaged its own public relations firm, award-winning Jennings, Marlowe, Everbrite Public Relations in Manhattan to address “softening our image” according to an anonymous Ebola spokesman. “People misunderstand Ebola,” said the seven-foot tall spokesman, wearing a black…

  • ISIS Hires P.R. Firm, Rebrands Itself

    The Islamic State Group (a.k.a. ISIL, ISIS, A-Holes, A-Whats-a-matter-u?) believes it has a bad reputation and has hired Milligan-Koswell Public Relations in New York City to soften its terrible image. “These guys are pretty upset,” said E. Carlson Foswell, the Management Supervisor of the new account at M-K PR. “They’ve worked hard to establish a…

  • Kim Jong Un Explains His Whereabouts

    Ebola, ISIL, Ukraine, immigrants, midterm elections–– just when you thought the news couldn’t get any worse, comes amazing revelations from North Korea as its beloved leader Kim Jong Un returns to the public eye after disappearing since September 3. “I was on a a bit of a walkabout,” said the charismatic god-like head of state.…

  • Lawyers Ruin Everything; Lint Gives Up

    Give people an inch, and they’ll sue you. The Lint Screen recently made the generous offer to provide free urine testing over the internet, and rather than be heaped with praise, our offices have been heaped with lawsuits from shills in shiny suits representing pissed people claiming that they have urine-stained and broken computer keyboards.…