Month: August 2015

  • Warren G. Harding Was Ashley Madison Member

    Following the recent news that Warren G. Harding, the 29th President of the United States fathered a love child in 1919 with Nan Britton, The Lint Screen has learned he was also one of the earliest members of the Ashley Madison extramarital affairs website. The Ashley Madison website was recently hacked and a list of…

  • Amazon Announces “Urchin Prime” Service

    Amazon, the internet everything store, has come under a barrage of bad publicity following a scathing expose of its high pressure working conditions in The New York Times. Today The Lint Screen learned that the company is fighting back–– with a new service that it says “shows compassion and concern for our best customers, while…

  • College Student Demands Protection From World

    C. Daniel Wisterdom will be entering Middlebury College next week, and is already threatening lawsuits against this respected Vermont liberal arts mecca, The Lint Screen has learned from hanging out in the quad. “I am very concerned Middlebury may book a so-called edgy comedian,” said the rising freshman majoring in Humanity Theoretical Studies, “and I…

  • Minnesota Dentist Kills Leopard At Zoo

    Dr. Walter Palmer is a very angry man. Following last week’s news that he had killed beloved Zimbabwean lion Cecil, the Minnesota dentist was struck by an onslaught of negative publicity and threats. But those didn’t stop this brave Novocain shooter–– he’s struck again! This time, the deadeye tooth-driller slew a caged Amur Leopard named…