Ahmed Hired To Build New Apple Watch


Ahmed says he can make a better Apple Watch with his hands tied behind his back.
Ahmed says he can make a better Apple Watch with his hands tied behind his back.

Apple leader Tim Cook is one smart cookie. The tech powerhouse kingpin told The Lint Screen he’s hired Irving, Texas troublemaker Ahmed Mohamed, the Muslim teen suspended from school and arrested earlier this week for bringing to school a homemade clock he built.

“The kid’s obviously smart,” said Cook, as he gave himself a prison tattoo of a teardrop under his left eye. “I want that kind of noodle on my team,” Cook said as he wrung a wet mop and danced with it, as if he were stepping alongside Debbie Reynolds in Singing In The Rain.

Jony Ive, Apple’s legendary Chief Design Officer is not sure he agrees. “Look, anyone can build a clock in a briefcase, but it’s a different tuna altogether to build a clock and phone and video and personal assistant and healthcare device and computer and gaming machine into a tiny watch you wear on your wrist.” Ive then spat on the ground and rolled up the sleeves of his white tee shirt flexing his muscles. “We’ll see how good this kid is. We’ll see.”

Ahmed seemed confident he was up for the task. “I’ve also got some cool phone ideas,” the 14-year old said as he put the finishing touches on a self-driving car he made from metal scraps, pipe cleaners and oily rags.


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