Month: December 2015

  • 2015 Applies for Obamacare, Life Insurance

    The year 2015 has lived 364 carefree days, but today he appears to have a nervous eye on his well being and future. The old year scrambled as he applied for Obamacare (silver level) and a $20,000 life insurance policy. A spokesman for 2015 told The Lint Screen “This guy’s a bit of a procrastinator.…

  • Steve Harvey–– Worst Santa Ever!

    After his embarrassing debacle of announcing the wrong winner at The Miss Universe Pageant on Sunday, Steve Harvey needed some P.R. redemption. So, his handlers gave him a lay up by arranging for the shamed celeb to play Santa at the St. Pious Orphanage in Brooklyn, and Harvey blew that cushy gig! “He was giving…

  • An Insider Peek @ Casting Specs

    Part of our mission at The Lint Screen is to illuminate the mysterious corners of life and make the truth cover its privates. With that in mind, below are some casting specifications intercepted for an upcoming film production. The Professor: His name is Charles Humbecker, his close friends call him “Charles” or “Ester.” He’s the…

  • New Weapon Unleashed In War on Terror

    U.S. intelligence officials announced today they are “fighting terror with sorrow” by deploying Smookie The Sad Kitten on known terrorist websites. “We’ve been working on the technology under wraps for years,” John Smith (not his real name, it’s an alias for Chuck Windowbee of Arlington, Virginia) told The Lint Screen. “We decided it was time…

  • Woman Goes Totally Berserk After Candy Crush Dis

    Sandy Minkertom is mad, and you don’t want that! The 36-year old Philadelphia insurance broker recently took drastic violent action by de-friending 812 people on Facebook after they did not accept her invitation to play the popular game Candy Crush. “I couldn’t believe it,” said the upset Candy Crusher. “Here I was being a great…