Tom Woolery is having his mail forwarded to cloud nine. The 42-year old Wausau, Wisconsin dentist just learned he has his second friend on Facebook.

“Got to say, I’m pretty darn jacked,” said the bachelor as he flossed. “I wasn’t so sure about this social media thing, but now that Betsy Ordencott has confirmed me as a Facebook friend, well, I think I’ve turned the corner on amassing what the kids call a posse.” He toasted The Lint Screen reporter and did a shot of Listerine, squished it around in his mouth for twenty seconds and spat it into the sink. “Yes siree,” he said with a wide pearly smile, “got me two Facebook friends! That’s got to be some kind of record.”

“I think I remember him,” confessed Ms. Ordencott, a 42-year old environmental engineer with the state. “He was kind of a pudgy kid who sat behind me in Mrs. Timkins high school algebra class. Wore a lot of plaids, and brown-bagged stinky sandwiches most days, as I recall.” Asked if this new friendship was going to change her life, the divorced mother of two teens was nonplussed. “I doubt it. I have like 780, 790 Facebook friends. He’s just another log on the fire.”

“I’m hoping I get to meet Betsy again some time soon,” said Mr. Woolery. “I’d also like to meet my other Facebook friend, a friendly guy named Mark Zuckerberg. He seems nice.”