Kanye West claims to be $53 million in debt, and his plea to Mark Zuckerberg for a cool billion has gone “unfriended”–– but a new man has entered the picture to save K’s bacon The Lint Screen has learned.

MC Hammer!

The legendary hip-hop star says he is “overjoyed” to be called on for help. “I know how to manage money,” Ham said as he fluffed his gold leaf parachute pants. “I’ll show Kanye how to stretch a buck. I’ll make him wealthy again in no time flat because when it comes to financial management acumen, well, you can’t touch this,” he said as he performed a split.

Six minutes later, two associates came to lift the former star from the floor. “Anyone got Zuckerberg’s digits,” MC asked. “I may need a new hip or two.”