Tag: American Idol

  • Non-Human Debate Ends Tragically

    Last night, Dr. John Doolittle moderated the first ever presidential debate with exclusively non-human candidates, and the broadcast which aired on Animal Planet attracted viewership numbers to rival Dancing With The Stars or American Idol. The debate panel consisted of adorable puppy, Santy Paws, lovable monkey, Ms. Pickles, and colorful character, Carl The Chameleon. Because…

  • BPTV Launches

    There was one surprising silver lining on the black oil cloud of the recent failure of BP’s “Top Kill” effort– the live camera feed of the oil leak disaster drew millions of curious viewers from around the world. The viewer response was so strong, BP has decided to launch the live camera feed as a…

  • Pre-K Commencement Address

    Recently I was asked to give the commencement address to “The Cherished Sweet Angels Pre-K” graduating class. Here’s my speech in its entirety with editorial comments: Good morning, Cherished Sweet Angels, and congratulations on receiving a sheepskin for doing little more than poking straws into juice boxes and for rarely mistaking glue sticks for ChapSticks.…