Entries tagged with “Bobby Jindal”.

Shy guy Donald Trumps takes step to increase confidence.

Shy guy Donald Trumps takes a baby step to increase his confidence.

Newly-announced presidential candidate Donald Trump has hired legendary self-help guru Tony Robbins, The Lint Screen has learned.

“The Donald is not a very outgoing person,” said Sam Blyminauer, Trump campaign manager. “He feels he needs a guy like Tony Robbins on his team to teach him some tricks of how to boost his ego and self confidence. Tony is a master of helping shy folks like Donald come out of their shells and inch their way to the limelight.”

The Trump campaign staff is fearful their candidate may be overshadowed by charismatic superstars like of Lindsey Graham, Bobby Jindal, Dr. Ben Carson and the 612 other declared presidential candidates.

“Donald Trump is going to work closely with Tony to make sure his authentic voice is heard,” said Blyminauer. “Although he has shy tendencies, we think through work and practice he’ll open up, goose his retiring ego a bit and make sure that his opinions gets heard.”

It will be interesting to see if this bold plan works!

GOP candidates will be ready to rumble under the New Orleans sky.

GOP candidates will rumble under the New Orleans sky.

With Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal expected to announce his presidential candidacy for the GOP nomination in the near future, The Lint Screen has learned he is also expected to show his hospitality by inviting the other 40,912 Republican candidates to join him in the Mercedes-Benz Superdome for the first debate.

“Bobby knows everyone loves visiting New Orleans,” said Tippitt H. Mintonfists, IV, his campaign manager. “And with the pretty crowded field of contenders, he thinks that the choice of venues to host the first candidates debate is limited. So, Bobby’s going to offer everyone to meet him in his house, because The Superdome can handle the crowd. Plus, it’s not far from Bourbon Street so folks can grab a big ass beer, Hurricane, Bloody Mary and walk on over and mix it up. What more could anyone want? It’s going to be a real dogfight, yes sir!”

There has been no response from spokespeople of other candidates.