On July 20, 1969, Neil Armstrong allegedly became the first man to walk on the moon. I say allegedly because 6% of the U.S. population believes it was a government hoax; that it was actually two chimps in the spacesuit and it was shot on Mars, dressed to look like the surface of the moon. You truly cannot fool all of the people all of the time.

    Be that as it may, I’ve come across some of the other options the alleged Neil Armstrong had as his first words to accompany his first steps on the alleged moon. I share because I care.

"Look at me, everyone-- look at me!"   

"Look at me, everyone-- look at me! Lookit!!!"

    “That’s one small step for man and a really big leap forward for the human race of which the man is a part of, you know, the man who made the small step in the first place. That guy… me.”

     “Hey, is everyone buying me being on the moon? I mean, really, this looks pretty authentic, right, because this is not a government hoax, I swear. I am on the moon! For real.”

    “Now then, what was I going to say?”

     “You just can’t beat a good BLT sandwich, no siree bob!”

    “I’m on top of the world being on top of the moon. Did I just blow your mind, or what?”

    “Looks like a full earth tonight. I love a full earth.”

    “Hey, this ain’t no green cheese! It was all a lie! An awful, horrible lie!!!”

    “They put a man on the moon, you’d think they’d be able to make a denture adhesive that didn’t slip. Well, now they have. Try new and improved PoliGrip…”

    “All earthlings beware, bow to your new leader– Neil Armstrong!”

    “I sure hope this moon dust comes out of carpets because I didn’t pack a second pair of shoes.”