Suspected ironic humor killer on loose. Beware!!!

Local and state law enforcement officials have begun a massive manhunt for Willis Hargrain, the 55-year old suspect in the ironic humor death of J. Mundy Catwalls, who escaped from the Anderson jail following his incarceration on July 8.

Hargrain used his razor sharp wit to cut down a policeman in the line of duty. Officer Dwayne Chumpky, age 28, of Belton, South Carolina, was in the process of locking Hargrain into his cell when the convict reportedly asked him, “Could I request turn-down service and a mint on my pillow? Oh, and what’s the number for room service? I think I’d like a surf and turf with a bottle of Chateau de Pricey!”

Eyewitnesses report that Offcer Chumpky immediately doubled over with laughter at the suspected killer’s ironic humor, then proceeded to laugh himself to an untimely death. As the guard laughed, Hargrain stepped over the convulsing body and escaped the jail on foot.

“Today we lost an excellent young law enforcement officer,” Sgt. Jerome G. Willikers told reporters. “Dwayne Chumpky is another casualty in the laugh-filled rampage being inflicted by Willis Hargrain. He must be stopped. Please consider him armed with ironic humor and extremely dangerous.”

An all points bulletin has been issued, but there are no leads. If you witness anything funny, anything at all, don’t laugh. It could kill you.