NSA source lacked potassium

NSA source lacked potassium

The National Security Agency reported today that it has launched a full scale investigation into a terrorist cell group located in the North Pole region.

“This could be huge,” said the unnamed source who stood in the shadows and spoke through a kazoo to scramble his voice.

The anonymous source said that the NSA has been monitoring “significant chatter” and “an avalanche of mail from children” being sent to the North Pole. “The weird thing is,” said the deep throat as he peeled a banana, “there isn’t even a post office there.” He then took a big bite of the banana. “Got to get my potassium.”

Asked if there were any details on when the terrorist group might strike, the shadowy figure shrouded himself in an invisibility cloak. “We’re pretty confident this group will mobilize on the evening of December 24.”

This reporter then heard footsteps running away before slipping on a banana peel. The intrepid reporter heard a body thump to the pavement and as a string of obscenities were shouted.