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Bill Proposed To Arm Prisoners
Alabama Congressman Hank Tippsmon has introduced “The Behind Bars Protection Act”, a bill designed to curtail violence among the over 2.5 million people incarcerated in America. The revolutionary law is simple in its execution–– every prisoner would be issued a firearm and ammunition for self protection purposes. “Crime is a real problem in America,” explained…
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NSA Disclosure May Force Politicians to Read
The recent discloser by Edward Snowden, a defense contractor consultant, that the National Security Agency (NSA) has been monitoring phone calls of all Americans has caused a kerfuffle in Washington. Many citizens view the monitoring of calls made and duration of call times as an invasion of privacy, even though these actions are authorized by…
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Lawmakers Take Vacation From Nation Ruination
Congressional personnel are exiting Washington quickly to enjoy their long summer vacations. “We’re exhausted,” said one Congressman. “Doing nothing good is awfully tiring work.” While no politician wanted to be quoted on record, all who spoke with The Lint Screen admitted that they were tuckered-out from grandstanding and being sycophantic servants to their lobbyist overlords…
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Political Parties Dissolve, Sponsorship Evolves
“We can openly allow corporate fascism to rule enabling us to serve our corporate overlords without the hindrance of the so-called people. Sure, we need them for their votes, but that’s about it. After the election, they just get in the way of things. There’s no need for people in a democracy like ours.”