It seems I may have been a wee bit premature in declaring my independent stinking fat-cat wealth recently. Apparently Mr. Peter T S Wong of Heng Seng Bank Hong Kong is too busy to cut me my check for $125,750,000 as promised.
In the meantime, I have incurred some substantial debt with some necessary purchases: a solid gold anvil (which proves my excellence in blacksmithery), a diamond-encrusted can koozie, a satchel of ‘magic beans’ I purchased from a desperate wizard and a Pizza Hut Pizza with everything on it– and I do mean everything, including the originals of the Magna Carta and Constitution of the United States (making it one very pricey pie).
Mr. Wong, I am at your mercy. Please cut me my check ASAP and we’ll remain BFF, I swear!