Entries tagged with “nicotine patches”.


Not long ago I wrote on this site about the dangers of smoking monkeys and chimps. I offered to collect funds and buy addicted primates some nicotine patches and gum to get them off the goof.

Unfortunately, none of you responded with financial aid. Well, I hope you cheap, heartless bastards are happy– look what animal kingdom peer pressure hath wrought!

Yes, he's man's best friend-- but only if you fill his bowl!

Please send money quickly to me c/o The Lint Screen on the innerwebs. Thanks.

They're cute doing most anything, except smoking!

Oh, they're cute doing just about anything, EXCEPT SMOKING!

Right now, millions of chimps and monkeys are smoking themselves to death.

Furry friends with bad cases of jangly nerves, dieting monkeys, post-coital chimps– they all need our help. They can’t resist the seductive allure of nicotine, but we can help give them a fighting chance by being strong when they are weak.

Working together, we can raise the funds necessary to supply these chimps and monkeys nicotine gum and nicotine patches. These are the tools they need to build a foundation of willpower and get the tobacco monkeys off their backs.

Won’t you help? Send money (a little more than you can afford) to me c/o The Lint Screen and together we’ll help monkeys and chimps evolve some healthier habits.